locate in body
find BSP using pointer. Go slowly
move pointer up then down. This is the Y-axis. (eye level is x-axis. Horizontal)
client: I’m 62 and I’ve been single for 14 years and I see red flags all over the place (with dates). I became invisible about 5 years ago.
Pie: what do you see in the red flags? tell me more about being invisible
client: I remember the day I realized I was invisible. I was at a bar eating and no one looked at me. All these younger women were all around me and even the bartender didn’t notice me. I’ve grieved being older and I am happy with my own company more and more but I haven’t given up on love.
Pie: you’re still out there looking for love and connection but you see the red flags and you also feel invisible.
Client: I am afraid of being trapped in something awful.
Pie: what comes up around fear of being trapped in a bad relationship?
Client: I’d rather be single
Pie: even as you’re talking, do you notice anything going on in your body?
Client: Yes, I got a feeling in my solar plexus. (becomes teary) I don’t have time to make a mistake.
Pie: let’s go with that fear of making a mistake. What do you notice when you do a body scan?
Client: it makes me breathless. (hand is on heart)
Pie: What are you noticing now in your body? Any emotion connected to that feeling in body? SUDS?
Open your eyes when you’re ready. Follow the pointer- where are you most activated in your body? Let’s get specific to fine tune the exact spot. SUDS? Move it up. More or less activated? Move it down. More/ less?
Keep your eyes there so I can move my chair and get comfortable and redirect me to your spot.
When you think about your fear of making a mistake, just see where it goes.
Client: I haven’t known how to end my relationships. I’ve stayed too long. My life is being sucked out of me.
I didn’t step up with XX b/c I didn’t want to be the initiator.
Pie: notice what’s happening in your body. Check in: what keeps you stuck? See where it goes.
Client: I want a match, someone like me and already whole and who still has dreams and interests and aliveness.
Pie: just allow yourself to be with that sadness. Just check in with yourself about that.
Client: All those times my father tried to hold me back…
Pie: just let it happen. Feel that sensation of pushing him/them away. Let your body do that pushing away. What do you notice in your body?
Client: a ring of fire image just came up.
Pie: As you feel that image around you, what do you notice?
Client: A fireman with gear & an ax just came through. He’s all sooty and sweaty and I’m all wet from the fire hose.
Pie: Let it happen, notice what’s he doing with his gear/ax.
Client: It’s about time! What took you so long?! He says stop being difficult. I’m not! I was not protected as a kid.
Pie: you have some protection now.
Client: I’ve developed it. I want to trust it w/o waiting for perfect. I want someone to try, someone who’s willing to risk and wants to grow. It feels good it’s not a bad thing to be me, to be discerning.
Pie: feel that sensation
client: it’s a relief to stop making myself wrong. I’m going to stay with my belief that I’ll find someone to grow with some day. A lot of grief is coming up.
Pie: Just let that happen…what does it feel like to say out loud “it’s not too late”. Let yourself feel that little girl inside who’s still alive and hopeful
client: I feel hopeful. I am visible to the right person!
Pie: Feel that feeling of being visible to the right person. (install that image)
client: A picture came to me of me doing a TED talk and being really visible
Pie: see where that goes.
Client: Some one is celebrating me rather than shutting me down and I want to also celebrate that person too. I feel expansive, peace. I can trust that knowing it’s real. I can feel it in myself. It’s real! And that feels good.
Pie: feel that in your body. What do you notice in that deep breath you just took?
Client: Not everyone has to get me. It’s good. I feel tired and I’ve landed on a truth. If I could just stay grounded in that truth, that makes me available.
Pie: go within and see if there’s a mantra about that. That it’s all yours and be open to that.
“love is real” say it out loud 3 times. What do you notice in your body?
Client: My lower back has huge energy. It’s an amazing truth for me.
Pie: Give yourself permission to stay with that truth, that mantra. Love is real.
Client: Love has my back. Love is real. It’s my protection, my ring of fire.